[disclaimer] Welcome back to How To January! In today’s lesson, we’ll learn how tomake some kid-friendly content by making toy reviews and toy channels! Grab on your exploitable children and let’sbegin! [intro music] Are you a person who cares of entertainingthe youngest of audiences of YouTube? Are you a person with the mind of a free child? Are you a parent who looks for the easiestand laziest of profit possible by recurring to the exploitation of your youngest sibling? Then look no further, toy channels are foryou! In this video, I will teach you in a few stepshow to become a successful toy channel of the YouTube of tomorrow, today! If you want to see more incredible tutorialslike these, be sure to subscribe to my channel where I continue with these How To Januarytutorials and more! STEP 1: Feel the inner manchild In order to make videos for children, youmust feel the child, breathe the child, inhale the child, taste the child taste… *bunch of mouth noises ew* What’s that taste you ask? It’s the taste of child exploitation forYouTube revenue, and it tastes freakin’ delicious.
If you have a small child in your family,you can now use it to further exploit it- I mean… further know the ins and outs ofa child’s mind! In order to entertain children, you must bethe children yourself! You must be a huge baby yourself! Get in Spiderman costumes, open up giant surpriseeggs with thrift store toys inside, play with the toys themselves! Wow, you must be a really, really big kid.
*manchild did poopoo diaper* If you want to feel even more like a giantbaby, you must indulge in what the babies already do.
This includes these actions: Number 1: Poop Number 2: Poop Number 3: Poop By knowing what your child slave wants andoffering him to “review” toys and other sacrificial offerings, you’ll get to knowbetter a very spoiled brat, and that means more money… STEP 2: Viewbot.
You know? Who cares about making quality content andputting effort into your videos when you can lazily and easily get exposure the most withsuch accessible, unpunished artificial traffic? You can even get easily in the Trending tabwith this simple method! Trust me, works 100% of times to get there,all you have to do is viewbot.
You’ll get more views like that! You’ll get loads of views! You’ll get shittons of fucking views likethis! And I guarantee you, nothing is gonna happento you after all, because YouTube doesn’t care at this point! It’s not like YouTube is gonna get you andget your channel banned for life! Ha ha ha! STEP 3: Viewbot.
You can viewbot from any of the viewbottingsites that you can ever find.
Just Google “get youtube views” and getinto any of the sites that the search results get you! You can try YTMonster, Retention Panel, buyviewsonline.
Com… ANYTHING! It’s not like you’ll lose a lot of moneydoing it, in fact, they’re equally monetized views, so you’ll earn back that money! STEP 4: Viewbot.
You might ask: “but Juan, what if someonefinds me viewbotting and reports my channel for artificial traffic?” Ha ha ha ha! What are you, fucking retarded!? Nothing’s gonna happen, I can guaranteeyou! Most people who are gonna watch your videoare babies! Do you even think a baby is gonna do the effortof finding out and reporting your video? No, of course not! They don’t even know how to use a drop downmenu, not even how to count to 10! It’s not likely that some grown up is goingto find your video eventually and mass flag your video for false traffic like the dumboyou are.
That’s completely unlikely.
In fact, what else do you expect when yourvideo is already on the Trending tab anyways? It’s not likely that anybody is gonna findit unfairly placed there! STEP 5: Poop.
[eww poopy poopy] You know, this kind of YouTube content tendsto boil down to that.
STEP 6(66): Fucking viewbot.
There’s a well known cycle of YouTube viewbottingknown as “The Viewbotting Ouroboros”.
It’s simple: you earn YouTube revenue withloads of botted views so you can waste that YouTube revenue in even more botted views.
It’s an endless cycle! No one is going to call you out for that! Your average 10 year old Minecraft let’splay kid also viewbots so he can promote his shitty videos! Even FsuAtl does viewbot! FSUATL!! Now that shows even popular youtubers do it! You know what you can also do? Sacrifice to Satan.
Sacrifice to Satan for views.
You’re going to Hell anyways, so there’salready nothing to lose! You wanna know how to become YouTube famous? Well, I’ll tell you: Do you need to be talented? No! You don’t even need that! Do you need to look good? Hell no! Haven’t you seen Casey Neistat? Do you even need to know how to make videos! HA HA! Fuck no! Haven’t you seen Leafy!? All you have to do is sign on the dotted line,get rid of your useless fucking soul and soon YouTube Heaven- HA HA HA HA! I mean… YouTube HELL is going to boogie on your feet! HA HA HA HA HA HA! UH-OH, THEY’RE DOWNERS! HA HA HA HA! WOOHOO! Fuck you.
Thanks for watching this video! If you like what you see, and want to jointhe Gay Demon forces of Hell, please subscribe to see more! I’ll see you next time! Hail Gay Satan!.